#763 Overview of Meditation PRACTICE

     Our life, at times, appears to be under control - "I've got this!" Though we more-or-less sleep-walk through life, "doing things half-assed," we assume we're smart enough to get away with it. We're self-absorbed, lost in youthful naivete, (imagined) power & bright future. At this level of unconsciousness, we're not interested meditation at all. For a variety reasons, some of us remain at this level of maturity.

     As the years roll on, some of us are forced to learn hard lessons, become more humble, recognize how minimal our ability is to control life, and start searching for a deeper, more reliable form of happiness that's independent of conditions. Meditation now becomes more relevant.

     NOW the entire world is in turmoil: Covid 19 crisis / financial meltdown / climate crisis / direct or proxy warfare / refugee crises. "Normal" times have evaporated, possibly forever. It's time to wake up & engage with life CONSCIOUSLY, WISELY. 
     Einstein said that we can't solve a mess with the same level of consciousness as the one with which we caused it. We MUST evolve / mature to a higher level of consciousness. Now meditation practice is a vital asset.

     The various mindfulness meditation (MBSR) practices all have us concentrate our awareness on an object of meditation, in real time. The physically-felt details of our object of meditation (eg breath in our belly) are to completely fill our awareness. No part of our awareness should remain with which to be anxious, sad, to obsess, or daydream. Stable, one-pointed concentration - absorbed only on one "object" in silence & stillness (without metal chatter, without physical / emotional restlessness), in and of itself, feels pleasant & can therefore be effortlessly maintained. Profound mental rest & therefore stress relief are relatively easily & quickly obtainable.
     But initially, we ALL behave according to our lifelong training - unconsciously follow our deeply conditioned habits. So we follow the instructions in a "half-assed" way, "just going through the motions," remaining lost in our trance: self-talk about "the story of me," continuing to catastrophize, wallow, or daydream. Then we quickly jump to self-judgment & want to quit meditation "because we're no good at it."
     Our greatest obstacles are: 1) Lack of practice,  2) Impatience, & 3) Expecting dramatic results.
     1) A regular daily meditation PRACTICE must be established to replace our old outdated conditioning with new more appropriate conditioning / training. The more we practice wisely, the better we become at it. Without this disciplined approach, we derive ZERO benefits, no matter how much we read & talk about meditation. As with skiing, tennis or golf, we improve in direct proportion to the quality & quantity of our practice.
     2) IF we PATIENTLY persevere, and accept our old conditioning (untrained, distracted mind), treat ourselves with incredible patience, gentleness & kindness - holding ourselves in safety & unconditional love - carefully following the meditation instructions - zooming in on the details with curiosity, we WILL INEVITABLY SUCCEED. 
     Our mind is the organ of change. Wise, consistent training invariably transforms our mind to work FOR us (instead of against us). We will turn our life right around. From feeling helpless, vulnerable & needy, we gradually shift to embody the source of safety & unconditional love first for ourselves, and subsequently for others. 
     3) When we stabilize our awareness on a physical sensation (even for 10 seconds), we release our habitual shallow level of consciousness ("noisy ego") and become our deeper intelligence, experiencing peace, stillness & silence. The first few times, we tend to get either bored or all excited and so pop right back up to the shallows & start blabbering to ourselves, which of course immediately ends the experience. 
     If we expect meditation to deliver fireworks & levitation, we might actually overlook the subtle quality of profound peace, stillness & silence, and judge it boring, a waste of time! 
     If however we have suffered, or are now suffering from a lot of emotional anguish, then experiencing profound peace, stillness & silence will feel absolutely heavenly. Gradually, we do learn to feel comfortable & stabilize in this profoundly peaceful, still, silent, loving space of deep intelligence where we are deeply connected to, engaged, intimate with ourselves, others, the environment, life itself: http://www.johnlovas.com/2020/03/appreciating-subtle.html

     Let us PRACTICE regularly, wisely, patiently, kindly every day, formally and informally. We've created a desperate mess with our noisy ego. Now we must clean up this hot mess, but can only do so by embodying our deep intelligence. We know how; we can do it!

#719 What's Our First Priority? And How's That Working?

     Automatically, reflexively, by default, we "look out for #1" - "me, myself & I" - we're self-centered. We're primarily concerned with our own safety, nutrition, shelter, health, wealth, power, prestige, fame, etc, etc, all of which, we assume (hope), means our personal happiness will be more or less assured. And there's nothing wrong about wanting to be happy - it's perfectly normal & reasonable.
     Many of us behave as if our happiness will increase in proportion to our health, wealth, power, fame, and the opulence of our clothes, homes, cars, vacations etc. But research shows that above a certain surprisingly modest family income, which permits having reasonable basic necessities, there's NO gain in happiness or quality of life with increasing wealth. I see parallels with ethanol consumption - a drink or two may feel good; being drunk does not; while alcoholism is heading for "rock bottom".
     Doesn't the phrase "Looking for love in all the wrong places" somehow resonate? If we're at all self-reflective, we'll notice a hunger or yearning that we can't seem to satisfy for any length of time, no matter what. Smart, young, energetic university students often seem certain that they control their own futures. Ahhh, the sweet illusion of control! However, as the decades flow by, we repeatedly see just how little control we have over our own & our loved ones' lives.
     The healthiest, most intelligent approach to transcending this hunger or yearning is found by discovering our true identity - who we really are. Wisdom traditions have known this for thousands of years: http://jglovas.wix.com/awarenessnow#!The-Real-Voyage-of-Discovery-New-Eyes/c17jj/56afc4e40cf2062bd412b06e

#671 What Feels Healthy?

     Fear shuts us down. It makes our heart-mind, our whole body feel tight, constricted, stiff, rigid, cold, shaky, lousy.

     What do we fear? We fear constant change, aging, sickness and death. We fear having little or no control over our lives, others' lives, our stuff, our world. We fear meaninglessness.
     Fear is feeling unloved. Above all else we want unconditional love.

     What if each of us is the SOURCE of unconditional love?

     How does it feel while we radiate unconditional kindness towards anyone, anything & any activity?
     How does the above compare with how we usually feel caught up in our cravings, aversions & self-absorbtion?
     Which of these clearly feels healthy?

#668 We Can Do Much Better Than "Quiet Desperation"

     Desperately hoping for luck, or special favors from god, nature, the universe is childishly silly, even from a religious / spiritual perspective. We waste our limited time & energies into trying to control largely or completely uncontrollable things & situations.
     Desperation feels like being a greyhound perpetually racing around the track after a fake fox, or like being a duck or buck during hunting season. Perpetually chasing or being chased feels anxious, fearful, tight, cold.

     Adult maturation to a large extent involves letting go of wishful, magical, egocentric thinking. Mindfulness practice trains us to accept things as they are now, with an open heart-mind. With this clarity, equanimity and loving-kindness, we can truly accept things we can't change, and intelligently change the things that can and need to be.

#659 Do We Have It All Backwards?

     We (particularly men) rigidly pretend that happiness, our very survival, is entirely under our control. How? By surrounding ourselves metaphorically with a perfect semi-permeable membrane that keeps bad stuff out & pulls good stuff in. Many of us are obsessive doormen. Such a simple boundary, between a separate 'self' and a foreign, hostile environment, may be OK for amoebas, but ... 

     As we mature, we gradually release this illusion of control. Increasingly we recognize how deep quality of life is found in embracing every aspect of life - "the full catastrophe" - with an open heart-mind. Mindfulness practice is about consciously, intentionally maturing, coming home to our full potential, right now.
     Rather than anxiously flipping back & forth between aversion & craving, we gradually stabilize awareness, acceptance, spaciousness, ease & love. 


     No Boundaries: http://www.johnlovas.com/2012/01/healing-growth.html
     Wise Aging: http://healthyhealers.blogspot.ca/search?q=aging

lewynn   www.dpreview.com

#622 Ultimate Agency

     We work towards becoming continuously aware of our thoughts, words and actions. As clay turns into a sculpture, the quality of our awareness, intention & love becomes the quality of our life. How we are, moment-by-moment, is who we are.

         “She who works with her hands is a laborer. 
          She who works with her hands and her head is a craftsman. 
          She who works with her hands and her head and her heart is an artist."                        Francis of Assisi

#562 Suffering or Wisdom? We Get to Choose?

     Early this week our 5-year old water heater stopped working. The plumber from the company that sold it to us decided that some parts needed to be replaced, did so, charged $300., and left, but no hot water. The next day, he returned, replaced another part, left, but no hot water. Later that day, he returned, checked his work, left, but still no hot water. The next day, while waiting for him to return, I noticed that I was developing a low-grade tension headache (rare for me). Even thought the repair guy seemed like a pleasant, decent fellow, I was obviously resenting the slowness & inefficiency with which this (very minor) inconvenience was being handled. Waiting for a repairman, and waiting for hot water, was not the way my week was supposed to be! The headache helped me remember meditation teacher John Tarrant's saying:
               "Suffering is the thought 'This isn't it.'
                Wisdom is the thought 'What is this?'"

     What happens in each moment has little if anything to do with what we want or need. Instead, it's the result of innumerable causes & conditions coming together at a unique crossroads in history. It is complex beyond imagination, and impossible to predict or control. Our individual input is usually an incredibly tiny contribution, so why do we fool (inflate?) ourselves thinking we can control anything (other than perhaps our own attitude)?
     When the universe fails to unfold according to our individual desire, we can (like I did) get angry. "This sucks, I don't want this, this is upsetting all my plans ..." Nevertheless, the universe continues to unfold without consulting me, nor as far as I know, any other of earth's ~9 billion human beings. Therefore, remembering to remain curious and open to whatever unfolds moment-to-moment, seems much wiser than being constantly mad.
     Wisdom is generally understood to involve a progressive shift from egocentricity (self concerns) towards allocentricity & ecocentricity (being concerned about others & the environment).
     Yesterday, the plumber returned and succeeded in fixing the heater.

Justin Jung, National Geographic   http://photography.nationalgeographic.com

#526 Monitoring My State of Being - Moment-by-Moment

     Awareness of what's going on around us & what's going on inside of us are important components, but nowhere near all of mindfulness. Another vital level of awareness is monitoring our state of being or, in computer jargon, our operating system.
     We've all experienced this unique combination kind / loving, open-hearted, peaceful, silent, still, timeless, hypoegoic / egoless: being with a person or animal we love, performing highly meaningful activity, being in a special place, listening to special music etc.
     We've all also experienced being "stressed-out": fear / anger / anxiety / depression, armored, noise, feeling rattled / shaken, time-poverty, egocentric. If we examine our lives very carefully, the vast majority of our time is spent - to some degree - in this mode.
     Whether we're in the rare open-hearted mode - or - the almost continuous armored mode, we tend to blame external factors entirely. Aside from trying to make the external environment more comfortable & pleasing, we assume we have no control over our quality of life.

     Mindfulness training allows us see clearly & experience directly how WE are ENTIRELY RESPONSIBLE for our own state of being - in which operating system WE CHOOSE to live ie we choose our quality of life independent of external factors.
     You CAN open your mind-heart up to an infinitely greater quality of life.

Puppy Love from: smchealth.org       &       Stressed-Out from: knowmybody.com

#442 Mindfulness Training & Hardiness

     "the personality trait hardiness (dispositional resilience) is characterized by perceived control over various aspects of life, commitment to one’s endeavors, and a tendency to view stressors as challenges.
     Conceptually, hardiness is broadly characterized as a stable disposition and/or a pattern of attitudes and skills providing the courage to turn stressful circumstances into growth opportunities. Over the years, a series of studies has yielded evidence for the construct validity of hardiness, including its interrelated elements of commitment, control and challenge.

     Commitment describes the tendency to stay involved with people and events rather than retreating into isolation under stress.

     Control refers to the belief that if one struggles and applies effort, s/he may be able to influence outcomes.

     Finally, challenge describes the tendency to view change as natural and as an opportunity for growth.

     Validation studies suggest that this construct is conceptually distinct from other well-known dispositions such as neuroticism, Type A behavioral pattern, negative affect, and optimism.

       Taylor MK et al. Relationships of hardiness to physical and mental health status in military men: a test of mediated effects. J Behav Med 2013; 36(1): 1-9.

     Those familiar with mindfulness will immediately recognize all components of hardiness - which are essential requirements for and natural byproducts of mindfulness training. Most importantly, hardiness can be & is intentionally, continuously cultivated, via patient, life-long mindfulness practices.
     See: http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/2013/11/436-readiness-for-change-is-pivotal.html

Amateur Sony Shooter   www.dpreview.com

#424 Strive for the "Sure Thing" - OR - Trust Open-Hearted Engagement?

     It makes sense to put more care, time & effort into a project, so it will turn out closer to what we hope for. Of course it's easy to go overboard, only to (re)discover that no matter how hard we try, we can't perfectly control things. "The hurrier I goes, the behinder I gets!"
     Interestingly, mindfulness advises focusing on the process itself, rather than the goal. In fact, (excessively) focusing on the goal is considered a major impediment to reaching it. Excessive goal-orientation is "driven" by greed, fear, anxiety or some combination of these unhealthy emotions, which virtually block one's ability to pay attention to the journey - the actual path to the goal.
     We optimally attend to what we're doing when we're fully engaged - our mind-heart-body is open to the actual process eg taking care of a little child or pet. Our focus of attention is almost exclusively experiential, with minimal narrative focus. There seems to be a direct connection of some sort between the silent depths of ourselves and that of the person, animal or activity. There's a sense of love, kindness or perhaps a primal recognition. It feels very still, peaceful, timeless and right - radically different from greed, fear or anxiety. 
     One may even say that open-hearted engagement is the antidote for greed, fear & anxiety. We know both ends of this spectrum, but perhaps have more experience with the latter. Can we trust the former to guide our lives? Our moment-by-moment way of being holds the answer. Can we observe what guides (or drives) our behavior & the quality of life that naturally arises?

Bob Kaune   www.dpreview.com

#174 Stuck? There IS a way out AND someone CAN help you!

     We've all seen overviews of individuals hopelessly lost, stuck in a maze. Because of our vantage point - the big picture - the way out or desired destination is clearly possible.

     It's sadly common for people to get stuck on life's journey. Many live 'lives of quiet desperation.' Yet there are far greater possibilities than Freud's neurosis or 'ordinary unhappiness'! Unfortunately, adhering dogmatically to ANY worldview - even "clever nihilism" - gives one a highly addictive sense of pseudo-control. Like all addictions, the control is fake, benefits short-lived, yet hard to outgrow.

"There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio,
Than are dreamt of in your philosophy."                    Hamlet, William Shakespeare

     Isn't life all about taking turns being stuck in a maze and finding one's way out, then having learned the overview, the bigger picture, we can help others out? Sometimes we require the help of therapists to extricate ourselves from the maze. But therapists themselves may suffer from, and require outside help for, the very conditions they treat in others.

     "When we accept the possibility of all things, ... then all things become possible. Trust builds a bridge between the known and the unknown and then allows us to temporarily cross into the other world. Faith does not manifest itself as acceptance of some dogma; instead it involves a willingness to go past the current limits of our knowing. The new world (ie that yielded by transformation) may not be revealed or reached without surrender and faith.”

       Hart T. "From information to transformation. Education for the evolution of consciousness." Peter Lang Publishing, NY, 2009.

     SEE ALSO: http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/2012/03/87-approach-embrace-challenges.html
     AND: http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/2012/03/85-phoenix-process.html

#74 Attitude

     “The attitude with which you undertake the practice of paying attention and being in the present is crucial. … if your energy and commitment to practice are low, it will be hard to develop calmness and relaxation with any consistency. … if you are trying to force yourself to feel relaxed and demand of yourself that ‘something happen,’ nothing will grow at all and you will quickly conclude that ‘meditation doesn’t work.’  
     To cultivate meditative awareness requires an entirely new way of looking at the process of learning. Since thinking that we know what we need and where we want to get are so ingrained in our minds, we can easily get caught up in trying to control things to make them turn out ‘our way,’ the way we want them to. But this attitude is antithetical to the work of awareness and healing. Awareness requires only that we pay attention and see things as they are. It doesn’t require that we change anything. And healing requires receptivity and acceptance, a turning to connectedness and wholeness. None of this can be forced, just as you cannot force yourself to go to sleep. You have to create the right conditions for falling asleep and then you have to let go. The same is true for relaxation. It cannot be achieved through force of will. That kind of effort will only produce tension and frustration.”

     Kabat-Zinn J. “Full catastrophe living. Using the wisdom of your body and mind to face stress, pain and illness”. Dell Publishing, NY, 1990.

Artist: Tom Forrestall   http://www.forrestallfineart.com/index.php