#271 "You're perfect as you are. Try harder!"

     "An expert is one who's incapable of learning" used to refer to old folks "stuck in their ways". These days, people in their 20's talk about their "expertise" in various matters, which IMHO is clumsy self-promotion or delusion.
     A closely related ego issue is the inability of some students to accept a mark below an A, constructive criticism of their work or behavior.
     "Everyone has a certain bias to view oneself in a favorable light. Most people prefer a self-view that includes being physically and mentally competent, being liked by others, and adhering to such principles as honesty and concern for the welfare of others."       Whitbourne SK, Whitbourne SB. Adult Development and Aging. Biopsychosocial Perspectives. ed 4, John Wiley & Sons, 2011.
     Indeed, wisdom traditions tell us that we each have an aspect of perfection within us. Yet at the same time, these same traditions encourage us to do the right thing and avoid messing up - nicely summed up by a meditation teacher: "You're perfect as you are. Try harder!" In other words, you're a wonderful human being AND your work or behavior needs improvement. So don't argue, you're being helped - be grateful and "Just do it!"
     It takes a degree of mindfulness to be able to FEEL the difference between your work or especially behavior vs you as a person being criticized. One's work or behavior can never really be perfect, so there's always room for improvement. Why should one feel humiliated and ashamed for being helped to improve one's work or behavior? Tuition is not for buying A's and a degree! A good education should help the student know more and behave better, in other words, be able to function better and truly contribute to society.

See: http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/2013/01/271-perfectionism-negative-and-positive.html