#264 Impossible to Grow & Mature when I'm Perfect & Everyone Else is Wrong

     "identity assimilation refers to a tendency to interpret new experiences relevant to a person's self-view as competent, well liked, & ethical."
• benefit: can "feel happy & effective, despite being less than perfect." 
• drawback: can lead to a "distorted interpretation of experiences that challenge" one's positive self-image. Example: protecting one's self-esteem by blaming a low mark on the the wording of the test or the professor's ineptitude, rather than questioning one's own knowledge & preparedness. See: http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/2013/01/261-psychological-rigidity-i-will.html
     Continuing discrepancies between external and self-appraisals must be confronted for development to continue successfully. "Learning to accept (one's own) imperfections is vital to (one's) growth. Ideally the realization of (one's) flaws will trigger the process of identity accommodation, through which (one) changes (one's) identity to incorporate a (REALISTIC) view of the self that is not perfect."

       Whitbourne SK, Whitbourne SB. Adult Development and Aging. Biopsychosocial Perspectives. ed 4, John Wiley & Sons, 2011.

     Only after accepting the fact that one can & did make mistakes, can one learn from these and from the people who brought attention to them, thus avoiding repeating these mistakes in the future AND maturing gracefully as an adult.