#593 Naturally

     While stuck in the muck of the ego - the small, tight, scared, anxious, fearful, angry, sad, time-poor, jangled, self-talk-filled, tiresome, stressful, painful old nightmare - the idea of embodying qualities like clarity, peace, silence, timelessness, stillness, kindness, lightness and effortlessness, may sound like a frustratingly impossible list of "shoulds".
     But it's neither externally imposed, nor a far-off, hard-to-reach destination. It's right here, right now, always, effortlessly available, to all of us. Just remember the direct experience - how you feel while:
                    • hugging a beloved human or other living being; 
                    • wordlessly awed in Nature;
                    • selflessly bringing healing to another.

     This is the freely flowing process of NATURAL human life. Just keep remembering & come back to reality, gently, kindly, peacefully, seamlessly, with timeless patience, as soon as you feel the muck of the ego. THIS WAY of returning, IS having returned already.

#574 Trying Really Hard and Feeling Frustrated?

     Life can be chronically, irritatingly frustrating - particularly for those of us who put an awful lot of time, effort and gut-wrenching desire into our work. We know we're putting more and more into it, yet the "returns on investment" are pitiful. We assume, that if we set our mind on a goal, any goal, with enough determination, sacrifice, effort, smarts etc, it's simply a matter of time before we achieve it. Then, and only then, will we gain worthiness, approval, respect, admiration, security, peace, and yes - even love. At some future point, but certainly not now, we're much too busy now, we will earn happiness.

     I have direct experiential awareness of this scenario, but fortunately, I'm less & less trapped in it. It's sad but interesting to see friends and colleagues in this same boat. Why do we strive so hard? Why are we so "driven"? Are you stuck in this mud up to your eyeballs?
     The two Nasrudin stories below may shed some clarifying perspectives:

       A man noticed Nasrudin intently inspecting the ground outside his door. 
       “Mulla,” he said, “what are you looking for?”
       “I’m looking for a ring I dropped,” Nasrudin replied.
       “Oh,” the man replied as he also began searching. “Well where exactly were you standing when you dropped it?”
       “In my bedroom,” Nasrudin replied, “not more than a foot in front of my bed.”
       “Your bedroom?!“ the man asked. “Then why are you searching for it out here near your doorway.
       “Because,” Nasrudin explained, “there is much more light out here.”


       One day, Nasrudin began talking to a man from another town. The man lamented, “I am rich, but I am also sad and miserable. I have taken my money and gone traveling in search of joy-but alas, I have yet to find it.” 
       As the man continued speaking, Nasrudin grabbed the man’s bag and ran off with it. The man chased him, and Nasrudin soon ran out of the man’s sight. He hid behind a tree, and put the bag in the open road for the man to see.
       When the man caught up, he located the bag, and his facial expression immediately turned from distress to joy. As the man danced in celebration of finding his bag, Nasrudin thought to himself, “That’s one way to bring joy to a sad man.”  

       Both Nasrudin stories from: http://www.rodneyohebsion.com/mulla-nasrudin.htm

Tribute to the Group of Seven

#533 How to Keep from Becoming Frustrated? - Part 2

     As we continue to practice mindfulness, we become able to see our thought patterns more & more clearly and objectively. We start monitoring our thoughts, emotions, speech & behavior AND the consequences of each of these.
     What precisely does my prolonged feeling of these (below) accomplish?: 
          • down, angry, hopeless, revengeful, righteous, etc about "my world's situation"
          • guilt for not saving "my world"
          • revengeful over the injustices suffered by "my ancestors"
          • anger & hatred towards "the enemies of my people"
          • anger & hatred towards "my enemies"
          • judgmental & hatred towards those who don't live up to "my standards"

     What proportion of our FINITE energy & lifetime do the above dysfunctional habits of mind bleed out of us? Being "frustrated" is a massive waste of time & energy. For some, it's a huge part of their cultural identity to wallow in such emotional swamps. Some of these unfortunates inevitably act out, causing wide-scale suffering - and what good comes of these?
     Being frustrated, indignant, angry, revengeful, etc is useless dysfunctional posturing. Life's short & precious - HELP REDUCE SUFFERING & INCREASE JOY - for yourself & others. Positive change must & CAN start within each one of us.

Halifax, Nova Scotia, May 3, 2014

#532 How to Keep from Becoming Frustrated? - Part 1

     World & local events on the news often sound horrifically ugly, barbarically cruel, primitive. The perpetrators are often amazingly brazen, defiant, even triumphant - claiming religious, political or other "rationale" for their subhuman behavior. Disgust is a common, understandable reaction from civilized society.
     How - or why - should we keep from supporting those who would "nuke them back into the stone-age"? In short, that would make us horrifically ugly, barbarically cruel, primitive. It's critically important to recognize our own potential for evil. "Wiping out evil - out there" eg capital punishment for murderers, does nothing to eliminate our own capacity to cause others great suffering.
     Those perps on the news are literally our relatives. How would we want our children treated if they were the perps on the news? It would be with superhuman understanding, respect, fairness, with rehabilitation instead of vengeance in mind.
     The other humbling aspect for us to ponder AND act on is the part WE play in these global events. How does our appetite for ridiculously cheap clothes contribute to child labor & dangerous sweat shops in third world countries? How does our appetite for street drugs contribute to the drug-related massacres in Mexico, Columbia etc and on our own streets? Our appetite for oil, exotic produce from around the world, our inflated standard of living, - all come at a price - increased suffering for poor, powerless people around the world.
     WE need to clean our own house! The more clearly we see ourselves, the more humble we become, the less unnecessary suffering we cause ourselves & others. Awareness, humility & kindness work for us, work for others - these just work!
     We surely know by now that "the war to end all wars" - both of them, and all the other wars on drugs, terrorism, poverty, etc - are primitive useless garbage - enough - they don't work!

Peggy's Cove, Nova Scotia, May 4, 2014

#519 The Feeling of "I'm No Good at Meditating!"

     Are you with a group that's sitting in meditation for 30-40 minutes, but you don't actually feel like you belong because you're just looking around feeling frustrated? Is self-talk flooding the circuits?: "I'm just no good at this"; "Get me out of here"; "When is this going to be over"; "I've got a million things to do"?
     That too is OK! The facilitator(s) can "hold" that too. Unconditional love & acceptance is hopefully being modeled by both the facilitator(s) and your fellow participants. This holding, this space of acceptance is key to nurturing transformation from suffering to wholeness and beyond. 
     Their example helps you yourself to accept & hold the part of you that feels frustrated plus a mixed bag of other challenging emotions. Your inner wisdom is capable of unconditional love for your own fearful inner child (& everyone else's). A part of you resides in peace, stillness, silence, wisdom, timelessness. Practice lowering your center of gravity from the self-talk jungle of the head, down past the jangled turmoil of the chest, down to the belt level (2 inches below the navel) - the hara or dan tien. See: http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/2013/05/326-classical-japanese-centeredness.html
     How can you modify mindfulness practice to suit your current situation? It's possible that, at this point in time, you most benefit sitting in meditation for a much shorter time period - maybe 5 minutes. 
     You are your own trainer, therapist, sports psychologist - guide your practice wisely, for best long-term results. Never, ever, ever give up on your #1 client! You can & will do infinitely better than you can currently possibly imagine - just keep practicing wisely, ideally with some guidance from those who've been practicing for a long time.

Cary Maures   www.dpreview.com