#519 The Feeling of "I'm No Good at Meditating!"

     Are you with a group that's sitting in meditation for 30-40 minutes, but you don't actually feel like you belong because you're just looking around feeling frustrated? Is self-talk flooding the circuits?: "I'm just no good at this"; "Get me out of here"; "When is this going to be over"; "I've got a million things to do"?
     That too is OK! The facilitator(s) can "hold" that too. Unconditional love & acceptance is hopefully being modeled by both the facilitator(s) and your fellow participants. This holding, this space of acceptance is key to nurturing transformation from suffering to wholeness and beyond. 
     Their example helps you yourself to accept & hold the part of you that feels frustrated plus a mixed bag of other challenging emotions. Your inner wisdom is capable of unconditional love for your own fearful inner child (& everyone else's). A part of you resides in peace, stillness, silence, wisdom, timelessness. Practice lowering your center of gravity from the self-talk jungle of the head, down past the jangled turmoil of the chest, down to the belt level (2 inches below the navel) - the hara or dan tien. See: http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/2013/05/326-classical-japanese-centeredness.html
     How can you modify mindfulness practice to suit your current situation? It's possible that, at this point in time, you most benefit sitting in meditation for a much shorter time period - maybe 5 minutes. 
     You are your own trainer, therapist, sports psychologist - guide your practice wisely, for best long-term results. Never, ever, ever give up on your #1 client! You can & will do infinitely better than you can currently possibly imagine - just keep practicing wisely, ideally with some guidance from those who've been practicing for a long time.

Cary Maures   www.dpreview.com

#311 Fearful Child & Wise Grandparent - We're Both, & We Can Mature Amazingly

     Since none of us has perfect genes, nor received perfectly consistent unconditional love, etc, we're all traumatized to some degree from birth. So we have within each of us, an "inner child" who feels alone & afraid in what appears to be a hostile universe. Successful, otherwise confident, middle-aged professionals, can instantly transform into whimpering children in a dental office or other specific situations.
     At the same time, most of us are capable of heroic levels of altruism and bravery in the service of those in distress. So we also have, within each of us, a wise loving stable grandparent, with a broad perspective based on timeless experience.
     Under stress, the fearful child tends to manifest. In good times - or - in a life-or-death emergency, the wise grandparent tends to manifest. With mindfulness training, we naturally mature from a place of fear, towards greater love & wisdom. In the "laboratory of the mind" that mindfulness practice provides, we learn to gently, fully accept & embrace our inner fearful child whenever it manifests, then with increasing stability, we become able to manifest & embody our wise grandparent in thoughts, speech & behavior.
     With continuous intelligent mindfulness practice, even under the worst possible external conditions, awareness, equanimity, kindness & joy can become reality. Our consciousness can evolve well beyond our current imagination (imagination being the product & reflection of our present level of consciousness). This lifelong journey of mindfulness is full of surprises.
     Some of us can find ourselves trapped for decades, or a lifetime, in our hurt inner child part, and require expert help from a trauma specialist to help us evolve into & stabilize in our mature adult part.
     Also see: http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/2013/08/381-each-moment-new-beginning.html

Mariko Klug