As we grow older, we
increasingly encounter the complex real-life existential challenges of constant change, aging, sickness and death. We're repeatedly forced to choose our response: some form of avoidance (shutting down) - OR - full engagement (opening up).
Avoidance behaviours are very common, easy, and lead to psychological difficulties. Engaging with reality is uncommon, challenging, and leads to a peaceful, deeply satisfying life.A major component of mindfulness training is noticing and accepting our own cognitive, emotional and physical resistance (avoidance) to even simple projects eg sitting still for 5 minutes. Under the laboratory-like conditions of this training, we learn experientially that it's our resistance, not discomfort, that causes most of our suffering. Acceptance of temporary discomfort, not judging it negatively, but developing a scientific curiosity about its changing characteristics, and persisting in the activity (eg sitting still for 5 minutes) becomes progressively easier, and more peaceful.
Through mindfulness we learn to remain fully engaged, with valued current action, despite discomfort, (initially) to achieve long-term valued goals. With practice, the present moment expands, we learn to rest in the process, yet quietly, goals also are met. Mindfulness appears to be a training in full (mind-heart-body) engagement - wholeness - itself.
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This describes beautifully how mindfulness has allowed me to stay "with" some long term commitments despite unpleasant challenges they have posed in my life. My most recent example is a seven year position on my local Symphony Orchestra Board. I love music and know it takes more than a bunch of people with instruments to make an orchestra. Yet I find certain aspects of administration and leadership very unpleasant: speaking in public; financial forecasting;fundraising; delegating...and so on. Mindfulness training made it possible for me to open up to these activities allowing me to be a more effective board member. Mindfulness skills have empowered me to serve my community.
ReplyDeleteI know what you mean about public speaking Geri, yet there too, mindfulness practice is very beneficial.
ReplyDeleteA variant of public speaking anxiety is public 'doing' anxiety as in formal zen services. Mindfulness practice, (aided by the wisdom of Parker Palmer on this issue), has allowed me to accept arising anxiety as a cue to shift into open-heartedness, to see and feel myself making an offering to others rather than performing for others. It makes all the difference.
ReplyDeleteYES! The best way to turn fear for oneself around is to care for another - turning the whole thing inside out. The most remarkable example of this was the tremendous generosity and care that people in Thailand repeatedly showed Western tourists immediately after their tsunami. These Thais had lost family, property, everything, - yet their first concern was kindness to strangers - remarkably inspiring behavior!
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