#513 Well-worn Grooves & New Perspectives

     At some point, we recognize that we're "creatures of habit". Of course those who know us, are well aware of our patterns of speech & behavior. We tend to react in a typical, fairly predictable fashion, to many situations. It's as if the infinite numbers & varieties of stimuli that we perceive from outside & inside our skin boundary could only "push" one of a small number of possible "buttons".
     The instant we become aware of the repetitive pattern of our thoughts, speech or behavior, we become conscious or mindful - no longer fused with, or trapped in "the momentum of our life". But it's very common and seductively easy to remain in a trance- or dream-like momentum. Even those who have some knowledge of mindfulness retain a strong emotional bias towards leaving their lives, warts & all, in the same old well-worn groove. They strongly resist shifting to greater consciousness. This is VERY similar to a sleepy, grumpy person being unhappy that it's time to wake up, get out of bed, & face the new day. They do not appreciate attempts, no matter how gentle or well-intentioned, to get them up.
     To the extent that we identify with the part of us that is in that sleepy, semi-conscious dream state, we resist change ie resist waking up. Filling life with distractions & addictions helps keep us asleep & keeps our attention away from the sad fact that we're living "a life unexamined".
     If we learn to be our own excellent sports psychologist, life coach & trainer, we can live a progressively more conscious, evolved quality of life. To the extent that we get fed up with sleeping our life away, we intentionally, progressively wake up. This is why we participate in mindfulness training.

     Below is a very good, recent overview of mindfulness by Jon Kabat-Zinn speaking in London.

#425 Arising Urges to Be a Squirrel

     I'm quietly working on something, then suddenly an urge arises to do something else. One moment I'm peacefully engaged in an activity, the next moment I'm slightly anxious - an emotion, then the urge to act by going off mentally and or physically. The actual nature of the "something else" could be anything at all & doesn't really matter - it could be planning a vacation, work on another project, what's for dinner?, need to urinate, what time is it?, desire for coffee ... 
     This is precisely what keeps happening - and we see it so much more clearly - during sitting meditation! We're sitting still, engaged in the act of observing the breath, then suddenly the focus of our attention slips off target, onto another topic. Why does this happen? The longer we remain on the new topic(s), the more momentum (energy) the stories we tell ourselves gather. This weaving of stories is mental activity, which in turn may prompt physical activity eg getting up & doing something, or it may remain in an intermediate stage of planning to do something. In sitting meditation, we train to let go of this "anxious quiver of being", and gently return to being peacefully engaged with what we've decided was appropriate activity for this set period of time ie properly engage with the process of meditation for the predetermined time period.
     Why are we anxious being peacefully engaged in appropriate activity? Why do we trust primitive squirrel-like random thinking/doing activity (analogous to randomly trying different number sequences to open a found combination lock) more than deliberate peaceful action arising from the much more evolved aspects of ourselves? Could it simply be that we're so used to using the old primitive part of the brain that we don't yet fully trust this newfangled prefrontal cortex?

     See "Trust": http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/2012/04/119-trust-quality-5.html

Samer AIR   www.dpreview.com

#400 Do I Have a Choice? - the Jar of Soil & Water Metaphor - Part 3

     Experience tells us that our attention habitually focuses & "clings to" whatever we find most attractive or aversive. This is a subjective, emotion-driven, survival-based reflex. Psychologists talk about "approach-avoidance dichotomy" - see: http://healthyhealers.blogspot.ca/2013/04/fear-avoidance-ineffective-existential.html 
      The vast majority of potential "objects of consciousness" (tiny particles of soil) never reach our conscious awareness because they simply aren't interesting enough, positively or negatively. Extremes (larger particles of soil) grab our attention, while the infinite shades of gray in between don't.
     The power of attraction or repulsiveness of an object can be likened to magnetic pull or push between poles of two separate magnets. It's as if this power were inherent to, was within, the object. Wild tigers - avoid; ripe berry - grab & eat; attractive potential mate - capture & drag back to cave. This primitive binary reflex was appropriate, yet remains functional (brain stem) so we continue to feel jolts of attraction or aversion. These jolts can feel so powerful, that we can feel overpowered by objects of desire or aversion - "I couldn't help myself!"
     Yet, none of these jolts are absolute imperatives to approach or avoid - there are infinite shades of gray even withing each object, as well as the context of each object. In this light, each object approaches zero charge, opening up many nuanced appropriate choices & behaviors. None of these "objects of consciousness" (soil particles) are inherently, by nature irresistible nor horrific - the felt "power" is from within - our selective focus of attention (eg "love is blind" or "blinded by hatred") creates the apparent attractiveness or aversiveness we have towards the object. Most importantly, from a practical standpoint we CAN up- or down-regulate this entire process.
     If we spend a lot of time (selectively) focused only on how wonderful it would be to own a particular luxury item (ignoring all negative & neutral aspects of the object itself, as well as the context of how our life would differ if we owned it), the power of attraction of this item will progressively grow more surely than if we had spent an equivalent amount of time watching the best professionally-produced ads for this item. For the power of aversion, the exact same holds true for time invested selectively focusing on the aversive aspect of an object (eg catastrophizing). Habits of mind are made powerful through our own powerful, predictable mental training. If we don't like the resultant power over us, we clearly can & should stop building it up - let the object-specific process (eg craving a BMW) undergo disuse atrophy ("what you don't use, you lose") and change the focus of our mental training towards different, healthier preferred goals. The power is literally in us (clear water) not in the objects of consciousness (soil particles). Specifically, awareness (clear water) is inherently equanimous, balanced ie does NOT have to STICK to the soil particles, which can freely sink to the bottom of the jar.
     Smoking-cessation is logical, healthy & beneficial for all concerned, YET to free themselves, most smokers need to participate in effective smoking cessation programs. We are so bound to our habits, the "momentum" & direction of our lives is so challenging to alter, that most of us need to participate in effective, systematic training programs - like mindfulness-based stress reduction (MBSR) - to achieve this evolutionary change in our consciousness & behavior.

Fence and Silo by John England     http://www.fogforestgallery.ca/bios/bio_england.html

#391 Comfort-seeking Moves and our Full Human Potential

     Sitting meditation is an ideal laboratory for studying ourselves. Under these controlled conditions of (external) stillness and relative (external) peace & quiet, we clearly observe a stunning array of inner activity.
     We see how we're continuously exerting energy to seek comfort. This constant automatic striving shows the pervasive dominance of the brain stem reflex. 
     The most obvious sign of this during meditation is the inability of most people to sit completely still for even short periods of time. They feel that it's impossible. As soon as they become uncomfortable, they "have to" move to a more comfortable position. When their nose gets a tickle, they "have to" immediately scratch it to become more comfortable. They assume that there's no choice in these matters - if one feels discomfort, one immediately has to react - brain stem reflex.
     A less obvious, but equally pervasive sign of this constant automatic striving towards comfort is the compulsive habit of "living in the past" or future. A large part of the time when we're (supposedly) awake, we're actually in the past - dreaming of the good old days, or wallowing in some miserable past experience; or in the future - fantasizing, or catastrophizing. Wallowing and catastrophizing are less obviously comforting than daydreaming about positive experiences, but these nevertheless do seem to provide something that's hard to let go of. 
     Perhaps the present moment is never perfectly comfortable - physically or emotionally (hedonic concept of happiness), and therefore our brain stem judges it unacceptable to inhabit continuously. So escaping the present moment is reactive, automatic (brain stem reflex) rather than a conscious decision.
     There are huge reasons for choosing to be fully conscious: to explore, embody & enjoy our full potential as evolved human beings (eudaimonic concept of happiness); and to avoid repeating & try to repair the horrors (wars, genocides, ecological devastation, Ponzi schemes, etc, etc) we've been inflicting on each other, animals and the rest of the universe in our long history of behaving far below our potential. See: http://healthyhealers.blogspot.ca/2013/09/hedonism-eudaimonia-important-concepts.html
     Sitting still in meditation, observing our urge to move, scratch, or otherwise react to a wide variety of mild discomforts, we practice accepting these without acting on these primitive urges. As surely as steadily practicing a musical instrument invariably produces a competent musician, meditation practice gradually and progressively rewires our brains so that we become less & less reactive, and increasingly conscious wise human beings.
     

Balzac's Cafe, Toronto, Distillery District, 2013