#469 From Stuck to Flying Free

     How much of our life are we "identified with" some negative aspect of "our story"? In other words, how often are we completely immersed in some negative emotion? Recurrent anxious, depressed thoughts of not being good enough, being unloved, being unworthy of love, etc are common in "ordinary unhappiness." This is "as good as it gets" according to Freud, YET this is unnecessary suffering. For some of us this is completely debilitating and requires professional help from mental health professionals. However, the basic aspects of this is shared by every human being. We do not have to remain stuck in this quicksand.
     The moment we observe this happening, we are momentarily free, unstuck. As soon as we see that we have sadness or anxiety, we actually no longer are sadness or anxiety, but in fact observers of these emotions. This is a healing shift from being submerged or drowning in an afflictive emotion (cognitive fusion) to being somewhat objectively aware of the situation (cognitive defusion).
     We gradually begin to observe this as a repeated pattern. This is an additional critical healing shift - to a meta view. We notice how certain environmental and other factors trigger these afflictive emotions to arise, we notice the physical & other effects, and notice how these dissipate. We become aware of the causes & conditions, and the arising & passing away of the mini-drama. We're learning to appreciate a 30,000 foot view of the most difficult aspect of life - our own and others'. No longer stuck in mud, we are free, yet know the mud very well, and the many still stuck in it.

Beauty & Kindness in an Ice Storm

#285 How my Heart Feels - Heavy or Open?

     Feeling "heavy-hearted" (closed- or hard-hearted or armored) is a common, lousy, oppressive feeling. All attention and worry is turned inwards. It's all about my story, poor me, what's going to become of me? Round and round the worried, anxious mind goes, what's going to become of me? Heavy, tight, claustrophobic, sickening, tiresome sensations, constant noisy self-talk, with a sense of being stuck, urgent flight or urgent chasing.
     Feeling "light-hearted" and "open-hearted" is less common, but we're all familiar with it. It's a care-free, happy feeling of everything somehow being the way it should be. The sense of self ("me, myself & I") is barely noticeable, the focus of attention is on everything else. A sense of stillness & peaceful silence dominate. It's partially the presence of one's chest being relaxed, open, radiating warmth, but perhaps more the relief from not feeling constriction, tightness and heaviness. Interestingly, traditional Chinese medicine (TCM) understands disease as constriction & blockage; and health as the free, unobstructed flow of energy. TCM and osteopathic treatment aim to release blockages, permitting the free flow of vital energy (qi).
     Mindfulness training also loosens & untangles our tight knots, by helping us accept our inner child's reactivity, and increase our skill in returning to our wise "observer-self" - our wise grandparent subpersonality, sitting on the bank of the river of our life, calmly, lovingly, seeing the big picture, allowing us to think, speak and act from this wise, mature perspective. 

     See also: http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/2013/03/301-open-heart-energized-closed-heart.html

Photo: Steve McCurry   http://stevemccurry.com