#283 Feeling Internal Friction & Choosing Wisely, Again & Again

     When we feel conflicted, we're "of two minds" - part of us wants to go one way, another part of us wants to head in the opposite direction. This unpleasant disagreement between our sub-personalities is a common source of internal friction. Often the conflict can be simplified. One choice tends to reinforce the ego (egocentric) ie short-term goals for me; whereas the other choice considers the big picture ie impact on others, the environment, in the long-run, without heavy emphasis on "me, myself & I" (allo- & ecocentric). 
     The former is our hurt inner child demanding consolation; the later is our inner wise grandparent with the broad, deep, long-term perspective. Our inner child is self-centered, which is perfectly appropriate and understandable at that developmental stage - it requires our understanding, acceptance, empathy and love - but we are learning not to give in to its demands. 
     When we feel a lot of emotional charge: anxiety, anger, urgency, shame, embarrassment, insistence on being right & others being wrong etc it may well be our inner child impetuously acting out. Can we accept this with love and understanding, while not giving in to its demands? Can we keep returning to, and gradually stabilize in, our wise adult perspective, ever mindful of what the present situation and people at hand require to decrease suffering and increase joy? The more we practice this, the more consistently we become mindfully appropriate - being a kind presence.

     “Stillness, insight, and wisdom arise only when we can settle into being complete in this moment, without having to seek or hold on to or reject anything."

       Kabat-Zinn J. “Wherever you go, there you are. Mindfulness meditation in everyday life.” Hyperion, NY, 1994.

Photo: Lynn Ellis   http://500px.com/lynnellis