Do a lot of people, places, situations etc bug you, get you down, irritate you? Do you put a great deal of time and resources into owning a nice home in a nice part of town, a nice car, nice clothes, nice places for vacations? Conversely, are you pouring much of your energy into avoiding specific (for you) intolerable people, foods, places, cosmetics, activities, etc? Either way, do things still fail to meet your hopes and expectations, or when they do, is satisfaction fleeting? Does this leave you feeling unlucky or cursed, while others appear to be content, happy even?
What's the main difference between unhappy you and others who seem happy?
You assume that happiness comes only when external situations nicely suit you, stay great or keep improving. Life's circumstances may not be any better for those who are genuinely happy, however, their attitude or (inner) state of being is radically different. They accept reality as it is - from incredibly wonderful to shockingly horrible (but mostly in between) and constantly changing. This is simply a fact of life. They warmly embrace ALL of life, as it comes, with (relative) equanimity.
You may already know the above 'secret' to resilience (stress hardiness), but have chosen to remain outraged or cynical about life. You may strongly identify with this attitude - this is how people know you. Also, this intellectual stance against life is stable, fully under your control, and almost serves as a shield against harsh reality.
Putting down the above way of intellectually distancing yourself from life, even if you decide to do so, will take time, effort and discipline. Layers of attitudinal armor (also manifesting as muscular pain / tension, road-rage, headaches etc) protect the ego. HOWEVER, it also shields you from experiencing real joy, AND makes you miserable to be with.
 |
| Photo: gerry328 www.dpreview.com |
No comments:
Post a Comment