#777 Independence from Circumstances

     Pretty much everyone just wants to be happy. But our external environment is obviously filled with unpredictable ups & downs, most of which is beyond our control. So, real happiness must be independent of external circumstances. In other words, equanimity has to be built-into real happiness.
    ONLY the wise - particularly mystics, past & present - have learned how to engage with life in a much deeper & broader, all-encompassing way that is NOT affected by constant change, sickness, aging & death.

    Respected non-duality teacher & living mystic, Amoda Maa from her recent interview:  
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b9kqEgqnDOQ&list=PLBj0GiAEeavmA-j269z2dIDY1gzy64wq3

    “Psychological suffering, not physical suffering – there’s a little difference – but the psychological suffering that comes from the narratives of ‘this shouldn’t be happening,’ the identity of ‘poor me, I’m a victim,’ and so on, which has a deeper root, which is the sense of being a separate self – ‘I’m here and life is there, and I have to manage life, I have to control life, I have to defend against this, or I have to protect myself, I have to get to the destination that I want to get to in terms of life destination,’ and so on. This creates the treadmill of psychological suffering.

    There is also the suffering that comes from loss of some kind, heartbreak, some kind of tragedy or unexpected event. Of course, that’s also suffering.

    Whatever the outer shape or form of that suffering, it’s a doorway. It’s a doorway. For many it’s a punishment. ‘Something’s gone wrong’; ‘I’m wrong’; ‘I’m not worthy enough’ – which simply reinforces that separate self and reinforces the suffering. But it’s a doorway. It’s an invitation. It’s an invitation to soften in the face of suffering, to see what is more true than ‘poor me.’

    Let’s stay with the softening, because that’s really the primary doorway as such. Instead of defending & battling & arguing with what is – which is where psychological suffering comes from – the invitation is one of surrender. I could talk about surrender forever, because that’s the core of my teaching as such, my work, and also my life, my own journey. But I’m just going to say here that surrender is not a surrender to the circumstance, or to anyone. It’s not a surrender to, it’s a surrender of, a surrender of the internal mechanism of arguing with what is, which is where the softening is.

    There’s a story told about Neem Karoli Baba, of a woman who would go to him. Her son had died. And of course, that’s a tragedy and a loss and very painful. But she would go to him over and over again, and pray and beg, ‘Neem Karoli Baba, please take may pain away. This shouldn’t have happened. Poor me. This is, you know, and so on, and so on.’ And this would be repeated daily. And finally, he said to her, ‘I love suffering. It brings me closer to God.’

    So I think that’s my response to your question about how can suffering be eased? Of course, pain is pain, heartbreak is heartbreak, and that we cannot erase. But the heart can break open wider than the poor me. The heart is essentially unbroken in its true nature.

    We experience the broken on the surface, if you like, of the heart – and I don’t mean surface in a superficial way, but on the periphery of the heart, the human being will experience loss and personal pain, and whether a son’s died or a mother or whatever it is. But essentially, in the deeper parts of our beingness, nothing is broken. And so, that brings us closer to God. That brings us closer to beingness, the fundamental underlying eternal presence, whether we experience pain or not, whether we experience loss or not. And so, suffering is always a doorway on that level.

    And there’s also the incessant suffering, the psychological suffering of ‘I’m not good enough, I’m not worthy enough,’ which is pretty much endemic in the human condition – very much so in the Western condition, anyway. ‘I need to be more recognized. I need to be more loved. I need to be more successful. I need to be more this.’ Not always is this very conscious, but it’s an underlying driver for much of human behavior. And when something ripens in us, and we start to see how that creates this underlying current of suffering in us, then that can be a doorway in itself – a doorway to liberation.”

 

    Interviewer: “This sage mentioned he loves suffering. What kind of love is that?”

    AM (Amoda Maa): “I certainly don’t think it’s the kind of love which says I’m going to bring it on – bring me more suffering, or I’m going to beat myself up. It’s not on that level, for sure. I would say it’s a deep acceptance; a deep openness; a deep welcoming of everything; a welcoming of what life offers. And in that welcoming, something starts to soften within; something starts to relax within. And the deeper ground of being can reveal itself, even in the midst of loss & pain.

    It doesn’t necessarily erase the loss & pain. But it certainly ends the resistance to what is. And resistance to what is creates a lot of suffering; creates a lot of tension & agitation. So, even in the midst of pain or loss, there can be the end of an inner tension, an inner knot, or an inner agitation. And that starts to reveal love.”

    Amoda Maa (53-minute imho VALUABLE interview) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b9kqEgqnDOQ&list=PLBj0GiAEeavmA-j269z2dIDY1gzy64wq3

 

    Quickly reading or listening to something might give you a few ideas, but these quickly join thousands of other briefly interesting bits of information from the past, all forgotten now. 

    But when we're ready to deeply listen to something, and go deeper by learning more details, then intentionally adapting these concepts to our daily life, THEN we actually start experiencing beneficial changes.

    To perhaps get experiential glimpses about what Amoda Maa was pointing to, consider doing this 33-minute guided meditation with another fine non-duality teacher:

 

    Collette Barnes Whiteman 

“Beyond I Am - Guided Exploration Diving Beyond Words & Form"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qFwDNAwQ8w8