Restricting the focus of one's attention to either desirable or aversive aspects of an object is like an unethical sales pitch to oneself! Unethical because one or a few features are focused on - magnified, leaving out all the features which would balance out - neutralize - the charge or power to attract or repulse us. So how can we drop the sales pitch, and see things objectively, as they are instead of how we'd like to have them?
One way is to examine all the features - positive, negative & neutral - of the object of interest, instead of focusing on & magnifying the positive features if attractive (idealize, idolize), or negative features if repulsive (demonize). This is not a killjoy thing, it's simply clear, objective, balanced, dispassionate observation - what the object itself is actually like, without "me, myself & I" dominating.
Another major complimentary way is to examine all the other objects of awareness surrounding the principal object - to see it in context. What is this whole present situation about? This approach does include how I'm feeling, what I need etc. It also includes all of the atmosphere that will to various degrees color my perception.
By remembering that the world does not revolve around my needs, we perceive more accurately, judge more wisely, behave more kindly & appropriately. Even though there's all sorts of turbid muddy soil particles drifting, sometimes ever swirling, the bigger picture is clear, still water holding all of it.
Appreciation by David Gillespie http://www.fogforestgallery.ca/bios/bio_gillespie.html |
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