#361 Beyond "Stress Management" - Resilience for Real Life

      Our life will include several catastrophic events - death of loved ones, end of relationships, accidents, financial setbacks, humiliations, job losses, serious illnesses, etc - "shipwrecks" - where our life, as we once knew it, ends. “To undergo shipwreck is to be threatened in a total and primary way. … what has dependably served as shelter and protection and held and carried one where one wanted to go comes apart. What once promised trustworthiness vanishes.”
       Parks SD. Big questions, worthy dreams. Mentoring young adults in their search for meaning, purpose, and faith. John Wiley & Sons, San Francisco, 2000.
 
     There is NOTHING we can do to reliably prevent these from happening. A bruised ego will want to play the irrational, immature blame-game - detrimental on many levels. What we CAN do, is intentionally mature, so we won't just survive these storms, but will thrive! Mindfulness meditation practice is an excellent time-proven way of achieving that. Some discomfort - "growing pains" - are normal signs of progress in this practice - a very small price to pay. “As you go deeper into your practice, there will be times of great inner tension followed by release to the point of weeping. If you have not experienced this at least several times, you have not yet really practiced.”
        Kornfield J, Breiter P. A still forest pool. The insight meditation of Achaan Chah. Quest Books, Wheaton IL, 1985.

     IF resilient, after a shipwreck "we wash up on a new shore, perceiving more adequately how life really is – there is, eventually, gladness. It is a gladness that pervades one’s whole being; there is a new sense of vitality, be it quiet or exuberant. Usually, however, there is more than relief in this gladness. There is transformation. We discover a new reality beyond the loss. Rarely are we able to replace, to completely recompose, what was before. The loss of earlier meaning is irretrievable and must be grieved and mourned. But gladness arises from the discovery that life continues to unfold with meaning, with connections of significance and delight. ... There is deeply felt gladness in an enlarged knowing and being, and in a new capacity to act.
     ... the gladness on the other side of shipwreck arises from an embracing, complex kind of knowing that is experienced as a more trustworthy understanding of reality in both its beauty and terror.” 
       Parks SD. Big questions, worthy dreams. Mentoring young adults in their search for meaning, purpose, and faith. John Wiley & Sons, San Francisco, 2000.

     Our task is to discover a freedom that's independent of all circumstances & times.
     Kornfield J, Breiter P. A still forest pool. The insight meditation of Achaan Chah. Quest Books, Wheaton IL, 1985.

     See: Readiness for Change http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/2013/11/436-readiness-for-change-is-pivotal.html

Udayan Sankar Pal   www.facebook.com/UdayanSankarPal