#277 Compulsions? Striving? Are we there yet? Quality of Life?

     Every parent is familiar with the anxiously repeated question from the kids in the backseat: "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?" on pulling out of the driveway. Many of us are excessively goal-oriented like these Bart Simpson wannabes.
     So what happens while kids are obsessing about arriving? The trip - their life. Life is happening constantly - now, now, now, now, now - "in real time" regardless of whether we're truly here for it - "on planet earth" - or not.  
     We can be so locked into constantly striving for goals that much of our life can feel like an endless series of irritating obstacles keeping us from our goals. As soon as one goal is reached, we tend to discount it, and quickly replace it with at least one new goal. (Similarly, slot machine gambling addicts display no happiness when they win - they're addicted, "hooked" by the "bugs & bells" of the game, plugging in money with grim determination, not even leaving to urinate.)
     While one is trapped in a hellish maze of compulsive striving, one can't see alternatives to, nor clearly appreciate the corrosive effect of this "life" on them, their families or colleagues. Regardless of what the supposed goal (professional recognition, money, fame, sex, security), compulsive striving evokes a very narrow, unbalanced, and destructive way of life.
     But we do not have to be gerbils running furiously getting nowhere. For a healthy, balanced life, we need to become more aware of what's going on. This includes continuous conscious awareness of our own thoughts, speech and actions. We do not have to go along with the momentum of our lives. We are not on a swing heading down inevitably, with unstoppable momentum. We can choose to become like helicopter pilots who can stop any time, hover, look around, head in the appropriate direction, slow down, stop, and change course if appropriate - all under our own executive control (pre-frontal cortex), according to our core values and healthy long-term goals.
     First recognizing, and then intentionally letting go of our compulsions is essential if we're to bring intelligent awareness and meaningful quality into each moment of our one precious "kick at the can". 
     Quality of life - in the moment - brings about timeless quality: right now, and now, and now ... 

Great "gerbil on a wheel" photo from the web - I would like to give due credit.