#128 Check-in regularly

     Are you aware of your state of mind, moment-to-moment? Is your mind tense or relaxed?

     If your mind is tense, you can't be mindful. Your mind is locked-in - like a missile - on something. What? It's important to investigate the source of tension. Often it's craving - striving to obtain or achieve something, with the underlying idea that doing so will bring about happiness. Tension can equally be brought on by aversion to something (eg pain) or someone (eg someone who insulted you), again based on the idea that avoiding, retaliating, or somehow getting rid of the object of your aversion will bring about happiness.

     At some level we all realize that our own attitude is the only thing we can control. Can we then learn to give up on the unreasonable hope that others and the environment will start behaving to best suit us? Can we see that events occur because of innumerable causes & conditions, and that our own input usually has minimal influence?
     Say for example you take a cab and the driver is in a miserable mood and treats you badly. Many of us would take that personally, however, his mood has little if anything at all to do with you.
     How does it feel if you start taking NOTHING personally? Doesn't EVERYTHING occur naturally, due to countless causes & conditions converging at one particular place & time?

     Check-in regularly to see if your mind feels tense or relaxed. See how it feels letting go of tension-producing craving & aversion. See if you take things personally - how does it feel? Do less of what doesn't work and more of what does - see where it leads!

     You might revisit blog #74 Attitude:
http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/2012/03/74-attitude.html

 

Photo: LolloRiva   www.dpreview.com

#127 In a relaxed way

     "Meditating is acknowledging and observing whatever happens - whether pleasant or unpleasant - in a relaxed way."                 Ashin Tejaniya

     Many of us are very goal-oriented, always striving to achieve, "driven" - otherwise we might worry that we're lazy or even insincere. However, meditation teachers repeatedly advise that this "gaining mind" attitude actually impedes meditation. Such a mindset craves results, anxiously anticipates the future, and is therefore uncomfortable in the here and now. But in reality, we're always only here and now, and it's about this present reality that we're trying to learn in meditation.

     Fortunately, everything - including thoughts about the future (or past) - keeps arising in the present. Therefore, we can acknowledge and observe even these thoughts - "pleasant or unpleasant - in a relaxed way."

#126 Loving kindness (Quality 12)

     "Loving kindness = A quality of embodying benevolence, compassion and cherishing, a quality filled with forgiveness and unconditional love."

       Cardaciotto L. Assessing Mindfulness: The Development of a Bi-Dimensional Measure of Awareness and Acceptance. PhD Thesis, Drexel University, 2005.

dspace.library.drexel.edu/retrieve/4264/Cardaciotto_LeeAnn.pdf

     As indicated in #114, the 12 qualities or attitudes of mindfulness are overlapping, interdependent and arise from mindfulness practice much like the qualities of a master musician or high-level athlete arise completely naturally as a result of appropriate long-term training. The seeds of all of these qualities are within us all, growing to full fruition only when we provide the appropriate nurturing environment.

 Jon Kabat-Zinn Guided Loving Kindness Meditation (48min)

#125 Gratitude (Quality 11)

     "Gratitude = The quality of reverence, appreciating and being thankful for the present moment."

       Cardaciotto L. Assessing Mindfulness: The Development of a Bi-Dimensional Measure of Awareness and Acceptance. PhD Thesis, Drexel University, 2005.

dspace.library.drexel.edu/retrieve/4264/Cardaciotto_LeeAnn.pdf

     Gratitude, like the other mindfulness qualities or attitudes, comes naturally through mindfulness practice. One can also intentionally generate gratitude by thinking of things one feels fortunate about. Regardless of how gratitude arrives, one should notice how one feels while being grateful vs for example feeling hard done by. Doing more of what feels good would seem reasonable.

#124 Empathy (Quality 10)

     "Empathy = The quality of feeling and understanding another person’s situation in the present moment—his or her perspectives, emotions, actions (reactions)—and communicating this to the person."

       Cardaciotto L. Assessing Mindfulness: The Development of a Bi-Dimensional Measure of Awareness and Acceptance. PhD Thesis, Drexel University, 2005.

dspace.library.drexel.edu/retrieve/4264/Cardaciotto_LeeAnn.pdf

Jon Kabat-Zinn "The Healing Power of Mindfulness - Part 5" at Dartmouth College (5min)

#123 Generosity (Quality 9)

     "Generosity = Giving into the present moment within a context of love and compassion, without attachment to gain or thought of return."

       Cardaciotto L. Assessing Mindfulness: The Development of a Bi-Dimensional Measure of Awareness and Acceptance. PhD Thesis, Drexel University, 2005.

dspace.library.drexel.edu/retrieve/4264/Cardaciotto_LeeAnn.pdf

#122 Gentleness (Quality 8)

     "Gentleness = Characterized by a soft, considerate and tender quality; however, not passive, undisciplined or indulgent."

       Cardaciotto L. Assessing Mindfulness: The Development of a Bi-Dimensional Measure of Awareness and Acceptance. PhD Thesis, Drexel University, 2005.

dspace.library.drexel.edu/retrieve/4264/Cardaciotto_LeeAnn.pdf

     This is the opposite of trying to quickly force something through, which has very poor long-term results. Gentleness implies intelligence, consideration of all factors, patience, and persistence - the way water wears away rocks, the way a loving grandmother gets a grandchild to do the right thing, even though the child at first categorically says "No!" 

Jon Kabat-Zinn "The Healing Power of Mindfulness - Part 4" at Dartmouth College (27min)